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26 November 2005 @ 03:23 pm

Wow, I can't believe I slept until 2:30 this afternoon. Usually no matter how late I stay up the night before (and last night I didn't stay up late) I can't sleep until 10, and I never sleep past noon. Typically I get really strange dreams that cause me to go running screaming from bed long before then. This time the weirdest dream I had involved the group of folks who I went to Mexico with all going to Great America. Pretty low on the list of "strange dreams". Though it does remind me that I need to e-mail one of them and tell him to get the hotel reservations for next year, since I can't go.

The good news is the gasto-intestinal grunge I picked up in Japan seems to be gone, and I think the cold/allergies things I have might (after 14 hours of sleep) be waning as well.

I'm really freaked out about how behind I am at work now. Of the three project I'm supposed to have completed by now none of them are completely done. There are good, reasonable reasons why I don't have any of them done (ranging from having requirements change a week after I "finished" one piece to the project manager not reading my e-mail on when I was going to be gone on vacation and hence shorting me two days on my project), but the bottom line is that they are not done. I was going to try and get some work done on them over the weekend, but I have really been too ill to be able to get anywhere on it. *sigh* I guess I'm just getting practice in "accept and move on" again. What fun.

I've decided that while I appreciate the opportunity this position gives me, I really do want to start looking for something permanent, in a somewhat different environment. I don't like the uncertainty that the current situation is leaving me with. Nor do I really like that I am always working overtime. I think I am slowly starting to bludgeon my perfectionist over-working streak into sanity. I DON'T have to work extra hours just to prove that I am pulling my weight, and taking a vacation (or being sick) does NOT make me a slacker. So there, nyah.

Moving forward, I want to find an environment that is supportive to that kind of thinking. Wish me luck.
deirdremoon on November 27th, 2005 09:06 pm (UTC)
Good luck. I'm sure you already know that most of your friends are all in favor of your NOT working yourself into an early grave. :) And yes, I think that balance is really hard to find, especially for smart people who pride themselves on their accomplishments and growth.