I am writing to request that you please have the person with the brain cell take over issuing my check. This would be the person who can tell the difference between and address and a date, and understands that when the fax machine says that the line is busy, it's probably because the receiving party is currently receiving another fax. Oh, and the one who can read on the form where it says "please send the check to the following address" and actually sends it to the address that follows.
If you do not put the One Clued Person on my case, then I am afraid that I will be forced to go into your offices and ferally gnaw all your kneecaps off until you give in to my demands.
Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
- The most provoced, feral Sandpanther