Sandpanther (sandpanther) wrote,

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Dilbert Ain't Got Nothin'

The Background: I'm working on a time-sensitive project. The original specification for said project came through back in April or May. I got a specification orally, which was slightly more detailed than the time my spec was a box. (Yes, it was just a box. There was some printing on it. There was no other information on UI or, well, anything else. Just the box, ma'am, just the box.) At the time of the specification I pointed out that there are large portions of the program that are identical to what we're doing currently, so why not use the existing program? Fluffy shot me down, for reasons that I don't remember at the moment.

The Yesterday: In an attempt to find out exactly what data should be recorded where, I asked the Chihuahua On A Stick a few questions. Two things came out of this conversation. First, I completely failed to get an answer to the question I came to ask the COAS. Second, I was told that Fluffy had come up with a Brilliant New Idea, and that I was supposed to be coding according to the new process.

Given how well communication works in my company, I don't really need to mention that I had not been told about Fluffy's Brilliant New Idea, do I? Well, at any rate I guess I just went and mentioned it.

Listening to what was described, I realized that Fluffy's Brilliant New Idea was, in fact, a suggestion I had come up with months ago. Score one for grabbing your coworker's ideas and calling them your own.

Since I had not been officially told about the Brilliant New Change In Direction, I decided to ignore it and go happily on my way.

The Today: I went back to talk to the Chihuahua On A Stick since I did, in fact, need an answer to the question I asked her yesterday. She guiltily told me that she wasn't supposed to have told me about the Brilliant New Change In Direction. In fact, they had a meeting yesterday to discuss the project and decided several things -- none of which I'm supposed to know, pre request of the project requestor.

Yes, you read that right. They changed the specs on the project I am working on -- and I am the ONLY person working on it -- and I am not supposed to be told that the specs are different.

Someone more intellegent than me is going to have to tell me how I'm supposed to write the program to spec when I am not to be informed when the spec changes.

And then they wonder why the program that gets rolled out isn't the program that they thought they were requesting...

Edit: I forgot... While talking with the COAS, I mentioned that I had originally suggested Fluffy's Brilliant New Idea, and that he had shot it down.

She replied, "That explains it. I knew he couldn't have come up with that idea on his own."

Score one for having coworkers who are publicly known as lazy idiots.

In following up on the question that I keep asking her, the Chihuahua On A Stick looked up a sample of an order that does something pertient to my question. I asked her for the tracking number. Her response:

"I have even better for you! I have a copy of the order. Let's meet clandestinely in front of XXX's office."

Being a ham, I went over to XXX's office and Skulked Obviously. She sidled up next to me, and passed me the piece of paper behind her back. XXX's office being in a busy corridor, the other coworkers in the area looked at us very funny when we did this.

My workplace may be completely insane, but at least sometimes it's amusing.

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