Sandpanther (sandpanther) wrote,

State of the Sandpanther

Today I've been in a strange space. I woke up feeling pretty rotten physically, and have only improved a little bit. But for some reason I've been feeling really upbeat and relaxed. I've started being happily reminded of trips I've taken recently. I woke up from a dream where I was chatting with someone in Japanese, and suddenly ended up with "Sand In My Shoes" stuck in my head. (WALES!!)

I shouldn't be too surprised, I suppose. I've started crawling the walls, desperate to go on a trip somewhere -- anywhere, as long as it's out of the area, and preferably out of the country.

(cirdan_havens, I've been enjoying reading about your upcoming Europe trip. Even though I'm not going, it's been fun to vicariously imagine what it would be like to be going. There's just something day-dreamily cool thinking about being in Paris one day, Venice the next...)

I find it encouraging that I'm actually feeling interested in my hobbies again. For the past several months it's seemed like just too much bother. I was starting to wonder if I'd just permanently lost interest in all of my (former?) favorite things.

I think the problem is that I've been really, really stressed for the past few months. Yeah, I know, shocking. I think I'm the only one surprised. I know I probably shouldn't be surprised, but I haven't felt that stressed. It's been like a pot that is slowly coming to a boil, where the heat gets turned up gradually but I don't really notice it going up, I just notice that it's hot.

With the house stuff finished (except for actually moving -- and enjoying!!) I think a lot of the pressure has started to drop. Work is still a stress. But that's got definitive timelines and it's in the process of changing, so that's all good. Money is still tight -- but at least I don't have to save every single penny so that I'll have enough to pay some undefined sum at some undefined date. My bank accounts don't give me the warm, cuddly feeling they ones did. But now all I have is to deal with the higher monthly payments and to start saving up again so that I do feel more cozy about my savings cushions.

In unrelated news, I just found out that my company was just bought out. Not sure what this means. Excuse me while I go laugh hysterically.

If any one knows of somewhere that is looking for a database applications developer, please feel free to mention it to me. I deal mainly in Visual Basic and SQL Server, but am not unfamiliar with Oracle and Informix. My resume can be found online here.
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