Sandpanther (sandpanther) wrote,

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I had two PM conversations involving Fluffy today.

Between me and one of my coworkers:

sandpanther: I think he managed to discover a perpetual motion machine. It's just too bad he decided to try and swallow it.

Coworker: LOL! You would think it would do something for his waist line though.

sandpanther: As much as he moves his mouth, he's got to be burning a ton of calories!

Continuing on the theme of Fluffy, the porker:

sandpanther: Okay, I got the fat fools off of the phone.
sandpanther: I'm pondering killing one of them with "love". He pigs out every time we have doughnuts. I'm thinking of bringing in lots and lots more of them, so that he will eat to many of them and die of a heart attack. Things would be much nicer then.
sakon76: Death by donuts... what a way to go.
sandpanther: At least he'd be in a better place. Better for me, that is!
sakon76: Bring in the especially high-fat, high-sugar, high-cholesterol versions.
sandpanther: So, if I overfeed someone on donuts and cause a natural death, do you think anyone could prove it was murder?
sakon76: Don't think so. And if they can't prove it, you don't have to eat him. Bonus!
sandpanther: SCORE!!!!!
sakon76: *high-five*
sandpanther: I mean, I wouldn't really have killed him, right?
sandpanther: *high-five*
sakon76: Nope. Death by his own gluttony.
sandpanther: Well, there you go. I didn't kill him. He committed suicide. No Fluffy-feast here!

(I have a personal rule: You kill it, you eat it. There have been many lives saved thanks to this simple precaution. After all, there are just some things you do not put in your mouth!)
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