March 2nd, 2005

My Widdle Bwain

In Which The Sandpanther Demonstrates That She Is Not Always The Most Consistent Of Creatures

Yesterday and Monday morning I woke up, relaxed and refresh and happy -- yes, even eager to start the day. The world was good and full of bright possibilities. And by the time I got to work I was a ball of unhappy grump and depression.

This morning I woke up at 4 AM to go to the bathroom and couldn't get back to sleep. When I finally did get back to sleep I had a horrible nightmare involving all the doors to my house being left open and someone vandalizing my car. I awoke, swearing, with the sinking feeling that my alarm clock hadn't gone off. (It hadn't only because I woke up precisely one minute before it was supposed to go off. Not that I was going to get any sleep after that nightmare anyway.) I sulked out of bed and muddled through my morning shower a mass of spitting hate and unhappiness with the world. After an obnoxious commute involving annoying motorists I arrived at work... calm. Yes, even chipper. Gone was the all-pervading anger and the crushing depression. I really do not understand this. But apparently sleep deprivation and nightmares are good for my mental health. Oh, joy.

And while on the inconsistant theme, perhaps someone can give me an idea on how to resolve this little annoyance:

1) I am very, very happy that I am not staying in my current job. The people here are screaming, stupid maniacs and I want nothing more to do with them, with the evil, long commute to get here, or with having to get up at 5 AM in order to get to work on time.

2) I am miffed -- offended, even! -- that I am being replaced with The Contractor. I mean, really. I know the job times better and what on earth are they thinking, getting rid of me??

Does anyone other than me see a little inconsistency here? Why should I be miffed about getting kicked out of a job that I don't want anyway. It's completely illogical. And yet, this inconsistency taunts me on a nigh-daily basis. Most annoying.

Edit: I noticed that I spelled "inconsistant" inconsistently.
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