January 15th, 2003

My Widdle Bwain

The Drifting Shopping Cart

There is a long tradition in my household of having very, very strange things happen while grocery shopping. There was the infamous Night Of The Watermelon (which caused the store staff to quake in terror ever after when we appeared to shop). And nearly equaling that we had the Night Of Ballistic Salsa. So weird things happening while grocery shopping are not that uncommon. I and my roomies are, after all, rather weird people.

It is probably a sign of things to come that the shopping excursion started off with a discussion of whether I am a freak or not. (And let me say right now, freak or no, I still don't kiss cars.) Looking back on it now, that should probably have been a Sign.

So at first all is calm and well in our trip. (Aside from occasional exclamations of "freak!" drifting over the aisles.) We finish going down one aisle, and turn to go down the next aisle. One of the roomies says "drift the cart!" I was pushing the cart at the time, and execute a rather weak drift. The roomie points out that it was weak, and I point out that I was going too slow. We meander down the aisle.

Nearing the end of the aisle, I pick up speed to attempt a more l33t shopping cart drift. As I execute the turn, we discover one Very Important Thing:

Drifting shopping carts make a noise that sounds like farting. Really loud farting.


Next time, I think we'd better be at the back of the store before we try shopping cart drifting.
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